War In Heaven

Featuring Kirstie Adsit 

 

Set in Eden, Timpanogos Cave, Park City, Silver Lake, Deer Valley,

Hideout, Morgan, & various locations off I-84 in Utah

 

Based on the duino elegies

by rainer maria rilke

(1923)

-The First Elegy-

 

Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the Angels' hierarchies?

and even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart:

I would be consumed in his more potent being.

For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we can still barely endure,

and while we stand in wonder it serenely disdains to annihilate us.

Every Angel is terrifying.

 

And so I hold myself back and choke down that call-note of dark sobbing.

Whom can we ever turn to in our need?

Not Angels, not humans, and the clever animals are aware

that we are not really at home in our interpreted world. 

 

 

Perhaps there remains for us some tree on a hillside, to which our eyes return day after day;

there remains for us yesterday's street and the loyalty of a habit that liked it here, lingered, and never left.

Oh and the night, the night, when the wind full of infinite space gnaws at our faces--

For whom won't the night remain?--that desired, mildly disillusioning presence,

which the solitary heart so painfully meets.

 

 

Is it any less difficult for lovers?

They only use each other to mask their fates.

You still don't see? 

Fling the emptiness in your arms out into the spaces we breathe;

perhaps the birds will feel the increase of air with more passionate flight.

 

 

Granted, it's strange to dwell on earth no more, 

to cease observing customs barely learned,

not to give roses and other things of such promise

a meaning in some human future;

to stop being what one was in endlessly anxious hands...

Strange, not to go on wishing one's wishes. Strange,

to see all that was once so interconnected

drifting in space.

 

 

And death exacts a labor,

a long finishing of things half-done, before one has that first feeling of eternity. 

--But the living all make the same mistake: they distinguish too sharply.

Angels (it's said) often don't know whether they're moving among the living or the dead.

The eternal current sweeps all the ages with it through both kingdoms forever

and drowns their voices in both.

 

 

In the end, those torn from us early no longer need us: 

slowly one becomes unaccustomed to earthly things.

But we, who need such great mysteries, 

for whom so often blessed progress springs from grief--: could we exist without them?

It is a tale told in vain, that myth of lament,

in which a daring first music pierced the shell of numbness:

stunned Space, which an almost divine youth had suddenly left forever; then, in that void, vibrations--

which for us now are rapture and solace and help.

 

 

 

As Above, So Below.

 

 

Credits:

Sit Down By the Fire ©The Veils: Sun Gangs (2009)

Concept Arranged, Styled, and Shot by Audrey Waleyko

Modeling by Kirstie Adsit

Costumes by Free People

Necklaces by A Poets Home

Processing and Scans by Indie Photo Lab, The Darkoom, and Allen's Camera

 

All Portraits unedited on Kodak Portra, Fuji Pro 400H, Fuji Velvia, & Lomochrome Purple films

All Landscapes unedited on Kodak Portra, Kodak Ektar, Fuji Superia, Cinestill 800T, Agfachrome, and Lomochrome Purple Films

 

Shot in August + September 2016