Road To Oblivion

Spring Equinox

 

"The tree of knowledge was the tree of reason.
That's why the taste of it
drove us from Eden. That fruit
was meant to be dried and milled to a fine powder
for use a pinch at a time, a condiment.

God had probably planned to tell us later
about this new pleasure.
We stuffed our mouths full of it,
gorged on but and if and how and again
but, knowing no better..."

 

"...It's toxic in large quantities; fumes
swirled in our heads and around us
to form a dense cloud that hardened to steel,
a wall between us and God, Who was Paradise.
Not that God is unreasonable – but reason
in such excess was tyranny
and locked us into its own limits, a polished cell
reflecting our own faces..."

 

"...God lives
on the other side of that mirror,
but through the slit where the barrier doesn't
quite touch ground, manages still
to squeeze in – as filtered light,
splinters of fire, a strain of music heard
then lost, then heard again."

 

"In this dark I rest, 
unready for the light which dawns
day after day,
eager to be shared.
Black silk, shelter me.
I need
more of the night before I open
eyes and heart
to illumination. I must still
grow in dark like a root
not ready, not ready at all."

 

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense."

 

"The birds have vanished into the sky,
and now the last cloud drains away.

We sit together, the mountain and me,
until only the mountain remains."

 

 

 

Shot in Utah: Fall + Winter '16 + '17

on 35mm Film

(Adox Silvermax, Eastman Double-X, Ferrania Solaris, Fomapan Creative, Fuji Provia, Fuji Superia, Fuji Velvia,

Kodak Portra, Kodak Technical Pan, Lomochrome Purple, + Tasma NK-2)

 

Locations:

Mirror Lake Scenic Byway + National Recreation Area, Bald Mountain, Ruth Lake,

Christmas Meadows, Amethyst Lake, Crystal Lake, Trial Lake, Washington Lake,

Deer Creek Reservoir, Jordanelle Reservoir,

Echo, Kamas, Coalville, Southern Wyoming,

Arches National Park & Canyonlands National Park

 

My Sundown (Inner Ear Session)

©Jimmy Eat World

 

"Contraband"

"Eye Mask"

-Denise Levertov 

Untitled

-Jelaluddin Rumi

"The Birds Have Vanished"

-Li Po

 

*Any unauthorized use, reproduction, or interpretation of material from this website is strictly prohibited. 

 

"How did I know that someday—the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn’t descend again?"

-Sylvia Plath

 

During the months when I captured these images, I hiked approximately 500 miles throughout Utah in lands that are publicly accessible to everyone. Over the course of that time when I was recovering from a near death trauma and battling nightmares, flashbacks, and dissociations on a daily basis, I reflected on the desire to return to a point in time when I was content with the simple pleasures of the world, recollecting how good it felt to simply sit still and feel the wind on my face, the sun on my skin, or the snow on my hands. I practiced yoga extensively and spent a lot of time on the ice and in the snow, paying close attention to sensations that grounded me in the process of starting a new journey and leaving behind all of the people and problems from my past. I had no desire to photograph at all, but decided to capture a small collection of snapshots on days when I was in a state of mind where I could collect myself--those were few and far in between.

I was inspired to reflect on humanity's need and desire to become Godlike, as it is that very desire that draws us away from God. As a society, we live under the impression that having dominion over this world and satisfying our ever-increasing pleasures will make us Gods. We fall prey to this illusion on a daily basis in everything we encounter and are tempted to buy into only to be left feeling empty from the false promises we are sold. The need to prove our power instead of conveying our personal experience of reality draws us away from the guiding light that sits just past our plane of vision in the form of spiritual illumination and divine inspiration. Ultimately, all we truly need is to revel in the natural beauty that is, and to rest content in awe of what it feels like to be spiritual beings having a human experience in passing through this life in preparation for the next one.

My work centers on visions of Heaven in a toxic world and pursuit of a higher path in a spiritually desolate reality. It reflects on the beauty and eternal reward that comes from trekking down a road that few people dare to go, but that offers lasting satisfaction that endures perpetually. It challenges us to realize how much beauty surrounds us if only we put in the effort it takes to reach higher ground, and to create a piece of Heaven to leave behind on earth. I find nature's beauty sacred and try to capture the magic I see in fleeting visions and passing dreams. My desire in this lifetime is to let go of the fears and qualities that bind me to this earth and to embrace the soul that allows me to ascend to nirvana.